When Women Choose to Make the World a Better Place

I have found myself deeply upset this week by what has happened to Helen Haines MP.

Not simply because she is a Member of Parliament. Not because of her political views, or the causes she champions. But because she is a woman who chose to contribute, to serve her community and, in her own way, to try to make the world a better place.

The shock and anger that this even happened, I feel is felt by many women across the country. Yet another attack on a woman going about her day not knowing the darkness lurking.

I feel there is darkness always lurking for women, we just don’t know when it will appear.

And the thing is women are most of the time, the ones making their families, life and communities a better place.

Despite the darkness that seems to hover and settle on and around women.  Perhaps the reason so many women have courage and share their light is because of the darkness.

They know what it feels like not to be seen or herd. So many candles, not enough matches to spark a flame.

I think of the many women I have known throughout my life who have answered the call when something needed to be done or someone needs a match to light their candle through life.

There are women who see a need and responded. Women who challenge unfairness, care for others, speak up when it would have been easier to remain silent, and gave their time and energy to causes bigger than themselves.

Some of these women hold public office. Others are nurses, teachers, volunteers, mothers, community leaders, advocates or simply the person who notices when someone needs a helping hand.

They are not always seeking recognition. Often, they are simply trying to make things better.

Helen Haines spent much of her working life as a nurse and midwife, caring for people at some of the most vulnerable and significant moments of their lives. Later, she made the decision to enter politics, taking that commitment to community and public service into another arena.

Whatever our political beliefs, there is something worth recognising in that decision.

It takes courage to make your voice heard.

To be visible. To have your words questioned, your decisions scrutinised and your intentions challenged. To remain true to what you believe in, knowing that not everyone will agree with you.

And yet women continue to do it.

What troubles me so deeply about the violence against Helen is the thought that a woman who has spent so much of her life caring for others should now be facing such suffering herself.

There is something profoundly heartbreaking about that.

It also makes me think about the world we are creating through our everyday words and actions.

When did disagreement become so personal? When did we begin to lose sight of the human being behind the position, the opinion, the public role?

We do not have to agree with one another to treat each other with dignity.

We do not have to share someone's politics to respect their humanity.

And we should never lose the ability to recognise goodness, compassion and a genuine desire to contribute, even in someone whose views may differ from our own.

And I know that kindness matters.

Sometimes kindness is spoken of as though it is something small or sentimental. A pleasant quality, perhaps, but not something powerful enough to change the world.

I see it differently.

Kindness takes courage.

It takes courage to remain compassionate when the world feels harsh. To listen when it would be easier to judge. To offer compassion and support to someone who is vulnerable. To speak up against cruelty. To refuse to allow anger or bitterness to determine how we treat one another.

Kindness is not weakness. It is a choice about the kind of person we want to be, and the kind of society we want to create.

I think, too, about what incidents like this might mean for other women contemplating public life.

Will they hesitate before putting their hands up? Will they wonder whether the personal cost of making their voices heard is simply too great? Will we lose good women, good voices and good ideas because the world feels increasingly unsafe?

That would be another tragedy.

We need women who care deeply. Women who bring lived experience, compassion, integrity and determination into places where decisions are made.

We need women who are prepared to ask difficult questions and imagine a better future.

And we need to create a society where they can do so without fear of violence.