40 Things We Learn by 40
We learn that “too much” often means someone preferred us smaller.
We learn that witches are often just women who know things.
Women with intuition, wisdom, sexuality and power have always made the world nervous.We learn that softness is not weakness.
It means life has not turned us to stone.We learn that being liked is not the same as being loved.
We learn that the “cool girl” is another costume.
By 40, we are done auditioning for approval.We learn that grief and gratitude can sit at the same table.
We learn that the villainess usually has a point.
Maleficent has boundaries. Miranda Priestly has standards. Ursula has presence.We learn that women have always been blamed for curiosity.
Eve, Pandora, every woman who dared to ask more.We learn that our bodies are not projects.
They are places we have lived.We learn that women are always shedding skins.
Cleopatra commanded. Frida painted pain into power. Maya Angelou turned survival into language.We learn that being “difficult” can be a compliment.
Difficult to silence. Difficult to shrink.We learn that rest is not laziness.
Sometimes it is rebellion.We learn that maiden, mother, crone is too small.
We can be sensual, wise, wild, tender, ambitious and reborn all at once.We learn that Joan of Arc reminds us conviction has always frightened people.
We learn that intuition is not dramatic.
It is our bodies collecting truth before our minds can explain it.We learn that not every woman wants the same life — and that is the point.
We learn that “ageing gracefully” often means ageing quietly.
We would rather age honestly, loudly and with good lighting.We learn that Madonna understood reinvention before it became a brand.
We can change eras, change voices, change bodies of work, and still remain ourselves.We learn that women labelled mad, bitter, bossy or hysterical are often women refusing the script.
We learn that fun is not something we outgrow.
We still deserve dancing, glitter, road trips, loud laughter and joy that makes no sense on paper.We learn that friendships with women can save our lives.
We learn that Medusa teaches us wounded women are too often blamed for their armour.
We learn that we can be the good girl, the wild woman, the mother, the lover, the leader, the healer, the mess and the miracle.
We learn that ambition does not make us unfeminine.
It makes us awake.We learn that Dolly Parton proves sparkle and strategy can absolutely coexist.
We learn that silence can be inherited.
And so can courage.We learn that every scar has a story, but not every story needs an audience.
We learn that the women before us were not weak because they stayed.
Many were surviving systems they did not have the freedom to leave.We learn that women who shape history are rarely convenient.
Rosa Parks. Audre Lorde. Emmeline Pankhurst. Faith Bandler. Grace Tame. Julia Gillard.We learn that reinvention is not failure.
It is becoming.We learn that fairy tales forgot the middle chapter.
After the wedding, the heartbreak, the children, the career break, the loss — that is where the real story begins.We learn that joy is serious business.
We learn that women’s rage is sacred information.
It tells us where a boundary has been crossed.We learn that we do not have to be healed to be worthy of love.
We learn that Barbie can have an existential crisis and still make it fashion.
We learn that courage is not always cinematic.
Sometimes it is making the appointment, sending the email, leaving the room, asking for help, getting out of bed.We learn that the crone is not the ugly ending.
She is the wise woman. The truth-teller. The one who knows where the medicine is kept.We learn that our stories still have chapters we cannot imagine yet.
We learn that shedding skin can hurt, even when the old life is too tight.
We learn that we are not fading.
We are becoming harder to ignore.