And the best actress goes to...

EVER had those days. Where you feel out of your body?

Like you are pretending to be yourself?

Maybe you are playing the role of yourself, because you are struggling, maybe your mental or physical health is not doing so well, or you feel like your life is at a crossroads?

Your mind and heart are hurting, and you are trying to be the best version of yourself? Trying to convince yourself and others everything is fine and dandy.

You put on that brave face, sparkling personality, become the strong and silence type, the go getter, or the support system for others.

It can be exhausting trying to be the person you know you are, but are living in a moment of your life, where you are dealing with many changes, and you don’t feel like yourself.

It has been said that the greatest privilege of our life is to find out who we are.

Sometimes on the road to who we are, we find ourselves, on the side of the road, in a ditch, maybe we get a flat tyre, or we turned left instead of right.

For me when my health has failed or I have found myself at a crossroads, I have pretended to be the person, I am. I thought that if I kept on achieving, was bubbly and I could convince other people nothing had changed, everything would be okay.

And for a time, it was okay.  It was my way of surviving of coping with the sting of the lemons of life.

But it is also okay to realise you are not okay.

We don’t have to act as if everything is fine – no one is handing out Oscars for those of us who can keep the façade of ‘Having her s#$t together’.

I think it is important to acknowledge that many women, when we are struggling believe we have to put on an act and be the person we think we need to be, for ourselves and others. It is if it’s part of the female genetic code.  Keep up appearances, show you can do it all, put your needs aside.

However, to feel whole again, we need to break into pieces, and build ourselves back. Because if there is one thing life gives us it is times of hardship, personal struggles- not everything is perfect, and you don’t need to show anyone who you are.

Life is not easy, but the payoff of living, is it gifts us the ability to find out what we are made of.

And at times we find this out, through the roles we play, to help us through the shade of human existence.

It is a wonderful privilege to find not just who we are, but what we are capable of, when life has other plans.

I guess what we need to remember is when we don’t feel ourselves it is okay to wait for her to return or when you feel ready to go in search of her again.

Big Love

Fallon xoxo