Cry me a river or three...

“Tears are the words the heart cannot express”- Gerard Way

I am a woman who feels all the feelings.

And I am pretty good at bottling them up.

Pushing them aside to keep on going- when in hindsight I need to empty them out before its all too much.

I am an empath. An over thinker. People pleaser. I find it hard not care.

I am definitely not too glam to give a damn.

When I am caring too much about everything and everyone in my world, the anxiety kicks in, my body starts to stress and before I know it, I am out for the count.

I am a worry wart. Worrying about things I can’t control. Worrying about other people and their reactions.

Today, a small moment triggered the water works, because when you bottle up your feelings, the only way out is through the tear ducts.

It doesn’t take much for me to cry, as I have got older, I am very sentimental, but today the tears flowed and with each sob, I felt lighter, my muscles became lose and I let go of all the expectations I have harboured, this past month.

While we won’t solve all our problems at once, there is power in having a good cry, for me a cry is one of the most undervalued acts of self-love.

We have to give ourselves the time to break down, to acknowledge the pain, disappointment, hurt and stress. To feel uncomfortable in not being together.

Crying is like a personal baptism, sacred to oneself to release the toxins, to help us breathe a bit deeper.

I remember as a little girl being told once, “don’t cry, you will be alright, there is nothing to cry about”.  

Like there is shame in crying.

There is no shame in crying, but there is shame in toxic positivity and dismissing real emotions with false reassurances.

We can all throw around false reassurances, but what we need from time to time is the space, a person in our lives, where we can cry, and I mean ugly cry, the heaving, puffy eyes and snotty nose.

What I have learned in the past month is, women are strong, stronger than what we are given credit for. But part of that strength lies in letting go. Letting go of some of our feelings and worries.

Strength lies in being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is about owning our feelings.  Feelings show us we care.

It is okay to have big feelings and a big heart. But part of that is also making sure there is enough room in your life for you too - for your heart and cares.

Where the water flows you can find your own oasis, no matter how dry it has been between tears.

Big love,

Fallon xoxo